Wednesday, October 26, 2005

two, for now

I leave for a month and what do I get?

I'm now #2 out of 27,400 on a google search for "my empire of dirt." Not that that really means anyone is reading this, but it's pretty damn cool anyway.

Something's not right in my relationship. I'm not sure what it is. Up until a week ago I felt a little bit less alone in the world since having been with her. Now I feel alone again. I don't know why. Maybe I can sense that it's ending. Or maybe I can sense that it's just not going to last, so I'm withdrawing. Or maybe I'm just crawling back into my shell for some other reason.

Part of it, I think, maybe, is my parents. After 15 years of angry discord, it's pretty much off. He's moved out. He blames her for (possibly) cheating and being unloving; she blames him for drinking. Both are probably right. It's a bit of a relief that it's over. They probably should have done it long, long ago. But it does remind me of the frailty of relationships and how most of them don't last. And after seeing my Dad's reaction recently, it reminds me that breaking up...


What else? I've managed to get my work hours cut so I've been taking more classes. I'm beginning to see light at the end of that tunnel.

Well, maybe it won't be so long until next time... who knows whether this blog will be my main confidant again by then.


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