Sunday, April 24, 2005

something different

You'd have thought I told them I was going to join a cult, or at least the circus.

I rented out a room, and my parents haven't taken it well. It's nice to know that people care about you, but... the trauma of their reaction has been worse than the anxiety of living out on my own.

He says people shouldn't live alone. Maybe he's right. Numerous times have I tried to arrange to live with friends, but the plans have never fallen through. Now my friends are about all gone. So it's either take a chance with this or a strange roommate. I've chosen to try this. Maybe one day I'll make some new friends and find some people to live with. Or maybe I'll want to move back "home." I just want to give this a chance.

I almost get the sense that they're more worried for themselves than for me now that I'm leaving. It's that much harder to do now that I feel as if I'm knifing them in the back in some way. And that they're not supporting me in doing this.

I'm not running away to never look back. I'd love to get together and hang out and watch a movie, or go out to play golf, or whatever on a frequent basis. I don't want to abandon my parents. I just want a relationship as adults. Is that too much for a 27 year old to ask for?


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