all the spoils of a wasted life

Feeling sad for whatever reason. It just seems that wherever I look forward all I see are dead ends. It feels like I already killed a chance at a normal life and the chances of a happy or fulfilling one are seeming remote.

I have an appointment with a psychotherapist next week. Hopefully maybe that will be the start of something good. Right now I'm just rudderless and directionless.

I used to be happy sometimes. What the hell happened?