i've got no motivation

This past week or so I've been unable to motivate myself to do much of anything -- schoolwork, work-work, or this blog. All I've really wanted to do is stare at the wall or the clouds and daydream of a time when life seemed kinda fun and I hadn't flushed my future down the toilet.

Nothing much new to report. I've been even spacier than usual the past couple of days -- doing some ridiculously stupid things. None that anyone's noticed, thankfully. Although I did one today that someone will probably notice later... oh well. I guess if I'm an idiot, I can't hide it from the world forever.

But being an idiot is one of the least of my failures. Things from my past still creep into my thoughts just about every day. Guilt. But what can I do about it?

I'll keep praying. I don't know what else to do...