a god i've never seen

I feel awful, absolutely awful.

Sometimes all I have the strength to do is pray.

And so that's what I'll do.

everything's blue

Feeling blue. I don't like time changes. Now I get up in the dark, and the day just seems to start out gloomily.

Saw the therapist. He seems new to the profession. Words flow uneasily between the two of us. I realize that about all I have to say are complaints.

I'm down most of the time.
I'm really, really miserable pretty often.
I'm anxious a lot.
I don't have any friends.
I'm bored often.
I'm always sleepy.
Everything seems meaningless.

Every once in a while I feel just fine and things seem to be going good. It never lasts long.

Am I so psychologically f---ed up because I'm depressed all the time, or am I depressed all the time because I'm so psychologically f---ed up?