Wednesday, January 18, 2006

how can i go home?

Once again it seems again as if things are spinning out of control and I'm not sure what to do about them. I guess I could do what I normally do, wait out the storm and see if things patch up by themselves and my head gets a little clearer. But then there's part of me that wants to do something a little more drastic -- if calling a therapist can be seen as drastic. Something's gotta change. I don't think I'm just going to snap out of this like I have in the past. I hate to think my willpower has gotten this weak. I hate to think who I am right now is just who I always will be deep down inside.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

endings and beginnings

Another page turns. But is it a new chapter, or just a new paragraph?

January seems to be my time of renewal... maybe I can see about stopping this. But I'm afraid of what I could destroy by doing so.